First, about choosing my Rolfer. I chose to make my appointments with Bethany Ward for two reasons. First, she is listed on her own site as a faculty member of the Rolf Institute of Structural Integration, and in the Rolf Institute directory as President of the Ida P. Rolf Research Foundation, and actively writing/presenting research. Second, her bio on her website. Reading between the lines, I sensed some pattern of life trajectory similar to my own. She writes about her own experience with the emotional component of Rolfing, so I felt like she would understand my desire to work with the physical/emotional connection.
After my first session, I would say without any reservation that I chose the right Rolfer for me at this time. My intuition about some shared life patterns was right on. She totally gets the trauma/body connection. I appreciate her being able to tell me about the latest research as she is working with my body. In general, I felt a very good rapport quite quickly.
Session observables. First we talked about my history, current issues, and reasons for wanting to get Rolfed. Then I stripped down to bra and underwear for the rest of the session. She assessed my standing posture and alignments, and asked me some questions out sensations of being in my body: Is there more weight on the left or right leg? On the front or heel of the feet? On the insides or outsides of the feet? Any parts of the body coming to the forefront of your attention? Where does the air easily go inside you when you breathe? Etc.
Then, I laid on the nice heated table, which pleased my inner cat greatly, and the hands-on work began. Here is the description of the first session from Bethany’s site:
This session focuses on freeing the lungs to allow fuller breath, and beginning to free the shoulder and pelvic girdles from the ribcage. This is accomplished by working superficial tissue around the ribcage, shoulders, arms, and hips. Neck and back work is included at the end of almost every session to balance and integrate the work into the body.
The very last thing was a sacral lift. Then, I sat up and focused on rooting, on letting gravity really have its way with me. The more we sink, the more we rise. Then, I walked around a bit and noted the changes I felt.
Rolfing has a reputation for being painful. Nothing during this session even approached the sensation of “pain” for me. There were some intense and interesting sensations, but nothing painful. That may not be saying a lot, because I tend to like deep tissue massage and other work that a lot of people find painful. That said, I’ve read that the process of Rolfing has become more refined and gentle over the years. We’ll see how future sessions go, as we go really in depth.
Kyle was asking me last night how Rolfing is different from a massage. The official answer is here. Three experiential differences: (1) There is no lotion/oil used in Rolfing. (2) Since the Rolfer is working to integrate the entire body’s structure, it is preferable that she be able to see the entire body as she does the work. Thus, I wasn’t covered up by a blanket during the session. (3) Usually my massage therapists don’t ask me to do anything but turn over. Bethany asked me to experiment with my breath, gradually lengthen my arms, to relax into certain manipulations, to stretch out my hands, and so on.
Sensations and images. So, what changes did I feel? The final sacral lift was the most divine sensation ever. I felt like my back straightened out for the first time in my life and became a foot longer. When I stood up and walked around, I felt taller and my arms felt longer and more dangly—they seemed to hang more freely from my shoulders. Also, there seemed to be some different sensation—maybe activation, maybe strength, maybe simple noticing/aliveness—in my Vastus lateralis.
by Buck Lewis
While Bethany was working on my ribs and asking me to play with my breathing, I got an image of something like a bellows or accordion opening up. I learned I don’t have to over-breathe to get air into the bottom or back of my lungs; I just have to direct the inhalation where it needs to go. Also, an effortless way to open up the next inhalation is to exhale just a tad more than I normally would.
When Bethany finished working on my right shoulder, I had the image of leopard shoulders. Watch a leopard walk and you will see what I mean. There is a freedom, ease, power, and grace in how their shoulders move. I have been feeling quite leopard shouldery since.
I don’t remember if this was an image I got during the session, or something I dreamed last night. The trunk of the body a cage. Wild animals inside. The cage bars loosen. Creatures begin to escape. The wildness seeps out. When the cage is emptied, a flame is placed inside. It becomes a lantern. It becomes a warm shelter.
I got all the way from Bethany’s into Target and started carrying a small heater to the register before my low back/sacrum tension/ache came back. I was surprised at how uncomfortable it is. When it is always present, it just fades into the background. But, damn, it really is uncomfortable. I’ve been playing with imagining my tailbone lengthening and hanging down heavy like an actual tail, pulling my low back and sacrum down without any effort on my part. This seems to ease the tension/ache and restore a bit of the long feeling.
I played with this quite a bit at ecstatic dance today where I also was noticing how much there is a back side to my body. Apparently I am very oriented to my front, forgetting the back exists. Also, I don’t have to keep bracing myself and leaning slightly forward. I literally have my own back, effortlessly, if I just relax a bit.
In general, I feel some loosening and relaxation in my body since the session. I feel some different layers in my shoulders, which normally feel like one solid mass of hard matter.
I’m also conscious of my weight feeling slightly more evenly distributed on my feet.
Right now, I’m also conscious of suddenly feeling very tired, so I am going to be. The beautiful thing about blog posts is they can always be edited and added-to later.