No one besides you has your God. He is always with you, yet you see him in others, and thus he is never with you. You strive to draw to yourself those who seem to possess your God. You will come to see that they do not possess him, and that you alone have him. Thus you are alone among men—in the crowd and yet alone. Solitude in multitude—ponder this.
…
My I, you are a barbarian. I want to live with you, therefore I will carry you through an utterly medieval Hell, until you are capable of making living with you bearable. You should be the vessel and womb of life, therefore I shall purify you.
The touchstone is being alone with oneself.
This is the way.
–C.G. Jung, Liber Secundus, p. 329 & 330.
of course, one would never spout off about how being alone with yourself is a noble, evolved thing so they could feel better about habitually avoiding the utterly existential hell of les autres ((And in that little essay is a rich starting point for another essay on the oft-underestimated effect of emotional abuse on children, but I don’t have the time or energy for that today…)) since people have so often been hurtful—intentionally or not—that it is more comforting to be in solitude than engage in attempts at human connection which inevitably end in tears. cough. cough.
This video and the positive response to it give me an idea. If solitude is a skill that can be learned and people need to be encouraged to develop it, perhaps there is a niche for the Solitude Coach to provide intermediate steps and support. Like, the coach would arrange to show up at the same restaurant as you and pretend she doesn’t know you so that you know you will not be the only person there eating alone… get used to appearing to be alone before you actually go it alone. And so on.
Someone more entrepreneurial than me can do something with that one. Perhaps Death Bear needs a sidekick…